Hello, friends. Welcome to our blog. This endeavor - while requiring hundreds of thousands of man-hours, sweat, fits of weeping, spilled food, knocked-over drinks, and wall-punching - was totally worth it. And we did it all for YOU, so be grateful.
We're still compiling and sorting all of the vast store of data (which is scientifically proven to increase your overall happiness and productivity!*) that will soon be on offer here at Valueless Advice, so we're not quite ready for our Grand Opening, so to speak. However, we will leave you today with these two poignant bits of wisdom...
3/2/12:
Advisement #1 - Never shoot your friend's EpiPen into your thumb while in high school Biology class. You will turn pale and need to go immediately to the school nurse and you will miss that very important lesson on flower anatomy. Wait, is that Biology, where you learn about pistils and stamens and all that? Which class is that? Is that just regular science class? Biology's where you cut up frogs, right? Shudder. PS, that's disgusting. Poor frog!! Animal cruelty is never OK. By which I mean, you should circumnavigate Biology entirely. Just skip the whole goddam class. Because they cut up frogs. And cutting up frogs = animal cruelty. If I ever see you cutting up a f@#*ing frog, I am calling the f@#*ing cops. Don't come back to me in shackles and leg-irons tell me you weren't warned.
Advisement #2: And speaking of Science.... According to our sources *in* Science, the "pull-out method" is 80% effective as a means of birth control.* So - go ahead!! Science tells us it's just fine.*
*Please apply the "grain of salt" rule in these two instances. It's just safer.
